Yesterday while waiting for the Red Line train at the Fullerton station there was a gentlemen there who was a bus driver for the CTA. He was making conversation with me and some of the other people waiting for the train. Now when he first walked up my first thought was that he was really attractive. But there was another girl there, and I realize now that the second thought that I had was that he would surely be attracted to her. In my mind it would be like making the choice between eating vegetables and eating a good cheesecake; most of us would choose to eat the cheesecake.
But lo and behold he actually starts talking to everyone standing in the vicinity about the (insert scary music here) CTA DOOMSDAY. So the talking with everyone continued until the train came. Everyone got on the train and went their respective ways but we continued to talk about the CTA. He asked if I loved up near school, how often I took the train or the bus and what not. The point is that we continued to talk. He asked about my knitting, because at this point I was knitting and talking, he asked which was easier. So my stop comes and I really really really REALLY want him to ask for my number. I mean I am sending my thoughts so hard I was gonna pop a blood vessel.
But nothing. He smiles and says that it was nice meeting me. So now I cannot stop thinking about him.
The thing is that I pride myself on being level-headed and not obsessing about guys. But I really was attracted to him. And I realize I could have asked for his number, but I can barely hold a conversation with the opposite sex. In truth for the past few years the only conversations I have had with males have been talking about work or school. I am in no way exaggerating.
My fear is that this will leave me open to exploitation if you will. I am wondering how I would react if a guy actually did show some romantic interest in me. I don't want to be so desperate or inexperienced that I fall for anything. Its just that right now I am really lonely.