I want to go back to that time that I was happy.

I feel old and I am only 24. What will I feel like in fifty years?

I fear intimacy and relationships like most people fear being eaten alive by flesh eating zombies. But I yearn for it. I dream about it.

I tell people that I do have a boyfriend because I don't want one and it would interfere with school. I tell people I don't want to get married because it would be a waste of time. Truthfully, it is because I don't think these things will happen to me.

When I say I don't want kids that is actually true. You couldn't pay me to have those little crumb snatchers.

No one has ever called me beautiful and meant it.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a burden on my family.

I punish myself in small ways for being ugly.

I hate hot guys because I know that they would never choose me.

I hate myself for wanting to be chosen.

I keep trying to convince myself that he broke my heart. He never even realized I had a crush on him. Now I spy on him in Facebook and over AIM.